Fate called me up one day...

One day in April while walking through the mall eating a giant soft serve waffle cone filled with chocolate and vanilla swirled frozen yogurt, my cell phone rang.  It was an international phone number that I didnt recognize.  I reluctantly answered the call.  The voice on the other end was a very pleasant sounding man with an accent.  Hmmm...South African?  Australian?...whatever, who cares.  What's this guy want?  To tell me I won the lottery in some foreign country and I had to give him my banking information?  Not quite.  I listened Mr. Accent Man despite my reservations.  "Hi Nikki?  This is chef Clarence with Motor Yacht Ulysses (name and yacht name have been changed so I dont get fired, yeah keep reading...its a good story :) .  Are you free the week of May 9 to serve as a temporary sous chef? We need someone to cook for the crew."  At first I hesitated because this was out of my comfort zone.  I'm used to running my own show.  But I had recently started looking into other options in the culinary field.  Since I hadnt recieved any other phone calls like this one, I was completely caught off guard. 
So in classic Nikki fashion, I thought of a million different reason why I shouldnt do this.  And also in classic Nikki fashion I made the spontaneous decision to just go ahead and do it.  Fast forward to a week later and I was meeting chef Clarence in the parking lot of a posh boat yard.  I stuck out like a sore thumb.  Heres little me dressed in full chef garb, a knife kit, hat, chef jacket...the whole 9, because well, I'm a restaurant chef...or at least I used to be.  Chef Clarence was wearing kaki shorts, a white t-shirt, and flip flops.  He shook my hand an we briskly marched toward the largest yacht I've ever seen in real life.  We boarded the ship and the high energy chef started to take me on the tour.  He spewed out where the kitchen supplies were kept, pots, pans and introduced me to various crew members that were walking by, all without taking a breath.  He greeted each of his fellow crew members with a smile and a bit of light hearted ribbing which made me feel like I should relax and lighten up.  This was a professional place but nothing wrong with a little ball busting to lighten up the mood.  Once we finished our tour, I was escorted by Clarence off of the yacht and into a rented car.  Off to the grocery store we went.  We engaged in some small talk.  He asked me about my restaurant and what happend with everything...he read my blog.  OOOOOH FUCK!  This guy must think I'm nuts.  Clarence then quoted my blog...."namaste mother fucker, brilliantly funny Nikki, but not something yacht captains are interrested in.  You'll have better luck if you delete your blog or at least make it annonymous."  GASP!  Delete my blog?  Not an option...but incognito I can definitely do. 
I worked on the Ulysses and eventually got into a groove.  While I was cooking for the crew and holding down the galley, Clarence was stocking up for the upcoming yacht season.  They were only going to be in the US for a short time and now was his chance to stock up on all of the random items we see at TJ Maxx and dont think twice about them.  As the days went by piles of unusual spice blends, wooden chopping blocks and individual tiny coppper pots swelled on top of an unused section of the galley.  Clarence would whip into the galley followed by a dozen deck hands and stews holding mounds of new colorful and off the wall provisions that the eccentric chef had a vision of using.  I would explore the new items and think "I want to see what goes in there...I want to see what this guy is putting together with this".  As my time on the Ulysses grew to a close I was filled with dread as I new the yacht would pull away from the Florida coast line and I would not be aboard.  Dang.  I need to be a part of this crew. 
The night before my last monday I layed in bed meditating.  "I need to be on that boat, Ulysses is where I'm meant to be I just know it."  I tossed and turned and was restless that night.  In the morning I returned to the ship.  Made lunch and sent it down stairs.  Clarence appeared in the galley and shut the door.  "Look Nikki, would you like to talk about the future?", he said.  I knew right then and there that this was my open door.  I had experienced a lot of closed doors since my divorce from bash.  Many of those closed doors did not have any rhyme or reason.  I felt so shut out.  But from the moment I took my shoes off to "not make the boys emotional by walking on the teak" and step aboard the Ulysses I knew in my gut that this is where I am supposed to be. 
So here I am, 3 months later.  Both Clarence and I had to jump through several hoops and for that, I am truly greatful.  That pleasant sounding voice on the other end of that international number took me under his wing.  And with his help I am two weeks away from flying to Europe to once again board the Ulysses.  A dream come true.  Sometimes you have to lose everything to enjoy your trip back to the top, or your trip to Spain or your trip to Italy, or wherever your destiny takes you...
Thanks Clarence :)

Celebrate good times come on...

Look at those two crazy kids.  Who'd a thunk they'd still be married almost 40 years later!  They had two brilliant girls, and moved to the suburbs.  It's incredible to think that at some point in time, that dashing fellow in the picture nervously asked for this gorgeous little spark plug's hand in marriage.  But, like most honorable young lads during this time, he first asked her father for permission.  And at that moment, the cat was out of the bag.  The catalyst for this entire lifetime involving births, and celebrations and traditions (including white trash New Years Eve...lots of mac and cheese and hot dogs involved in that one) started from that guy telling someone else, what his plan was. 
As a caterer and a private chef, I am honored to be in on the secret.  Not too long ago, a friend of mine pulled me asside at a party and asked if I was free on a certain date to do some private chef work.  I said absolutley!  The next day, he came into the restaurant and said "The real reason I want you to do a private dinner for us is that I'm going to ask her to marry me.  You know, because we have a really good time together and I can spend the rest of my life with her so shes the one.  Will you help me think of a clever way to ask her?".  And so we came up with the plan of serving 4 courses, each with a little gift.  The deal was, she wasn't allowed to open the gifts with each course...she had to wait until the end.  In each box had a word "will" "you" "marry" "me".  This was extra difficult for the bride to be because she has a VERY curious nature.  But she made it through dinner and was very shocked at the contents.  I stayed in the kitchen until I heard a booming voice come from the patio over looking the ocean that said "SHE SAID YES!!!".  And so they begin their journey.  That started in part from a tap on the shoulder while at a party.  And the question of "are you free on the 22nd?".   It's usually just part of my job.  Just something that I do.  But one day, while catering a wedding, I was cleaning up the last bit of food from the buffet line.  Most of the guests had left and the DJ was playing the song "save the last dance for me" by Michael Buble.  No one was watching as the bride and groom shared the last dance at their wedding.  It was like no one else was on the planet as far as the newly married couple was concerned.  They looked into each other's eyes, he spun her around like he was Prince Charming and she Cindarella.  And they looked as though this was the happiest day of their lives.  No one was watching, except me.  It was at that moment that I realized that I get to be a part of the most life changing events for people.  A flood of instances of private moments that I have shared with clients, family and friends where I get to be in on the secret.  I am lucky enough to send them off into a new chapter.  It may sound corny, but watching that bride and groom share that dance made me very proud of the work that I do.  So keep celebrating thos good times people!  Keep giving birth, getting engaged, graduating, having birthdays, having anniversaries, getting promotions, and just keep on truckin'.  Because we are all just waiting for the next good time to come along so we can dance around with a lampshade on our heads!  Celebrate good times!  Come ON!!

No, a gastro-pub is not a bar you fart in...

It's not!  Nor is it a place to get a high colonic.  Whoever the culinary wizards are whom settled on this term owe me a bottle of tums.  Just the term "gastronomy" gives me agita (AH-JUH-duh  Italian slang for indigestion.  Yeah I'm of Italian descent, and if you think I'm not gonna slip a little Ginny slang into this blog you're stunad).  Ok so now that we've covered that this is a gross word to describe the science, art and overall groupie-ism surrounding food, let me explain why you hear this word so very often on the food network and the like.  As I said earlier, gastronomy is an appreciation and a thirst for knowledge in the art, science, history, gourmet quality, molecular structure and not limited to taste and smell of food.  A person who is deeply engorged in gastronomy is a gastronome.  YOU ARE NO LONGER A FOODIE, YOU ARE NOW A GASTRONOME, GOT IT??  I'm just kidding, I don't really care what its called nowadays.  I am just here to explain whats what so you look cool at your next cocktail party.  Now I know that we have sort of generalized what gastronomy is, but to be more precise, have you seen any of this food sciencey stuff?  You know, like on Top Chef when one of these clever young chefs struts in with a canister of liquid nitrogen?  And then he or she makes friggin ice cream in 10 seconds. Well, that is a branch of gastronomy.  Its called Molecular Gastronomy.  This is the epicenter of the modern gastronomical movement.  One great chef who I love to watch bend molecules into puffy clouds of space aged food is Chef Jose Andres. He is a mad scientist working in his Think Food Group labs all over the world www.thinkfoodgroup.com.  Chef Andres is not only mind blowingly brilliant, he lectures at Harvard University on Culinary Physics.  He is certainly the Godfather of molecular gastronomy and is the man to watch if you are interested in this art form. 

Now that we've covered the basics of gastronomy, there's only one thing left to discuss...What the EFF is a Gastro-pub??? Well lets start with the word pub, it is a British word short for "Public House".  Back in the day, pubs where actually in someone's home.  They would offer a pint or two and maybe some food if you're feeling peckish.  As time went on, pubs evolved into what we know now as a bar and they offered a standardized repertoire of dishes.  A gastro-pub is a pub that offers a more gourmet, excuse me, gastronomical choices on their menu.  They may still have shepherds pie, however it will likely be made with spring lamb and fingerling potatoes in a delicate sherry demiglace.  Dang that sounds good. 

Go forth into the world confident in your knowledge that the next ding dong that calls themselves a foodie will get a sideways glance and a tisk from the crowd...and it won't be you!

AND YES A CAN MOONWALK...HEEHEE....OW!!

One slice of pizza...

Yes that is ONE slice of pizza.  Look at that beast, my hand is in the picture to accentuate its sheer magnitude.  And it tasted good too.  Hawaiian, my favorite.  Yet again, salty and sweet.  I love big contrasts.  Salty and sweet, spicy and sweet, sweet and sour...hmmm maybe its the sweetness I love...wait we're getting off topic.  One Saturday night, a friend of mine took me out for a slice in Coral Gables.  We pulled up at about 11:30pm and the place was bumpin!  There was hardly a place to park.  We went inside of Cosola's Pizza and Sub Shop 305-858-0090.  The interior was reminiscent of an outlet at the Swap Shop.  Lots of neon, unflattering florescent lights (at least for me anyway, good thing vampires are cool right now.  I'm so chalky white I look like I could use a blood transfusion).  Ok so once me made it through mobbed line of Coral Gable-ites we got to the register.  Ordered, were handed a cup and a ticket with the number that would be called shortly.  10 minutes later this gargantuan slice of pizza was handed to me.  BATTER UP!  I'm goin in.  First a bite as a whole, crust, sauce, toppings all at once.  Delish!  The ham was even a little caramelized on the edges.  Not bad for a middle of the night pizza run!  The only bad thing is the imitation cheese, way too creamy.   Now just the crust alone:  crispy on the outside, soft in the middle, not soggy.  Hmmm I think we may have something here.  I's sold.  If I'm ever back in the Gables, this is my spot. 

When I was in culinary school, everyone raved about Steves Pizza 12101 Biscayne Blvd in North Miami 305-891-0202.  Yet another neighborhood favorite.  Locals go nuts for a slice of Steve's pie.  We ordered mushroom and onion.  Steve's is a small pizza joint that reminds me of a little grass rootsy style wood interiored pizza place you'd run into in Gainesville.  Yeah I'm referring to  Leonardo, minus the vegan brownies.  Anyway, all of the booths and even an old school arcade game are covered in graffiti, so bring a sharpie to leave your mark.  The inside is kind of dusty and is in serious need of the good lovin of a shop vac but the pizza was outstanding.  Unlike Casola's, Steve's uses real cheese.  The mushrooms were fresh, not out of a can and perfectly cooked.  The cheese was bubbly and slightly browning in just the right spots.  And the crust, crispy and made just right, MAMA MIA!!

We Americans are in love with our pizza.  I love making it at home if I'm not hankering for a midnight munchie with a beer buzz.  Its nice to make with the family.  I recommend picking up a ball of uncooked pizza dough from the publix bakery.  If they don't have it out front, just ask for it.  If its frozen, leave it on your counter until its squishy.  then loosen the twist tie and tie it at the very top of the bag.  To proof it further...you'll love this...put it in your car for 10 minutes or so and it will proof (swell up) right there in your car!  Once its expanded to fill the entire bag, turn the dough out onto a flowered surface.  Flower your rolling pin and roll it out till it resembles something you can put toppings and sauce on.  Yes, I know it probably looks like an oblong shaped amoeba but who cares.  This aint Top Chef, this is delicious dinner.  Ok so here's a yummy summertime trick.  Oil the top of the dough with olive oil and throw a little cornmeal on it.  Fire up your grill and once its hot, flip the dough over so that the oiled side is on the grill grates.  No it wont fall through!  Spread some tomato paste on top and desired cheese and toppings.  You'll know when its done, trust me.  That's one of my favorite summertime treats.  And its fun for the kids!!!  Bon Appetit, Chef Nikki

Im a smoker...

I'm a smoker, I love to smoke.  I dont care that my clothes smell, I dont care that my hair smells, and I NEVER care how my breath smells while I'm smoking.  When I light up, I feel good.  It relaxes me.  I'm like, damn I look cool holding this match.  If it offends people I'm like, pfft whatever, more smokey goodness for me and my fellow hickory lovin' pork junky pals.  Thats right I like to smoke meat, what did you think I was talking about?  I often wolf whistle to my meat while I'm seasoning it.  Dude I'll even season it, wolf whistle...and throw my meat into the fridge, open up the door in about two hours and then WOLF WHISTLE again!!  If I could slap its ass I would.  I WOULD!  My smoker of choice right now is a simple brinkman charcoal smoker.  Fill the bottom with A LOT of coals, light 'er up and fill the upper pan with water.  Let the fire go out and throw some wood chips that have been soaked in water.  The trick is to get the smoker rippin hot so that it maintains heat for the long run.  Every so often you have to stir the coals around to make sure they are staying hot.  You also want to find something to do in the meantime so that you refrain from peaking.  But don't wander to far...after all, something is nearly on fire in your backyard with your dinner in it.  Here is a list of activities that you may find entertaining while your smoker is making love to your variety of meats. 
5.  knit a tiny saddle for your cat to wear while you take pictures of how cute it looks
4.  melt some cheese and then drink it
3.  fill a kiddie pool with jello and wrestle yourself
2.  learn to count to ten in chinese (afterall you will probably have to someday anyway since they are really in charge)
1.  record yourself trying to make all of the sounds to the Bobby McFerrin song "Dont Worry, Be Happy"

So in this picture are some country pork ribs, that I dry rubbed over night.  I smoked them with hickory chips over charcoal for 5 hours.  It was delish.  We enjoyed it dining al fresco in the backyard under the mango tree :) Here is a recipe for a simple brine:
2 quarts water
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup salt
2 bay leaves
1 yellow onion, diced
2 tablespoons black pepper
combine all ingredients and bring to a boil.  stir and  bring to room temperature.  refridgerate and add your desired raw meat product.  do not add meat to unchilled liquid!  chill in fridge over night.

Good Lawd...

Good lawd it was a delicious weekend!  Went to the SoBe food and wine festival.  It was outstanding.  Very well executed.   The chefs and wine companies pulled out ALL the stops.  You would think that they would give out menial starch based hors d’ouevres but NO!!  There were things like beef carpaccio and roasted beet pure layered with goat cheese and roasted yellow beet cubes, and on top of THAT was delicious little arugula microgreensl…Whaaaaaaat?!  Bam!  In the mouth with a tiny fork.  Oh yeah shrimp ceviche with daikon radish laden with and exquisitely made vinaigrette…slamma jamma in my mouth mmm  mmmmm!!  Mousses and Meesses galore.  Very well done, bravo SOBE!! 

And then the next day, we went out to our favorite little tapas restaurant, you know, the one with the eccentric chef?  Yep that’s the one.  There were twelve of us for a very special birthday.  We started with of course, the mushroom truffle bruschetta, my sister had the homemade gnocchi, my brother in law and mom had the chicken Milanese,  Cindy had the chorizo carpaccio, and I had the pork chop…again.  I couldn’t resist it was so good the first time.  So as we are being ignored by our waitress (its customary at this joint)  and I’m apologizing to every one “Im sorry guys but wait till you have the food! It’s worth the abuse!” a began to become more and more terrified at the thought of “whats gonna happen when we ask for separate checks?”  OMG OMG OMG…well we’ll just ask our waitress ahead of time!  And we did…and then we had cake and the single most awkward thing in the world started happening.  Our very eccentric chef pulled out six blank checks and very snidely went one by one through the table and asked everyone what they had to eat and what should go on what check.  It was his way of rubbing our noses in our poop like we were puppies…”look at your filth!!”  ECH!  I worked in the front of the house as a server and bartender  for 10 years before I became a chef.  The appropriate way to execute getting the checks to the guests would be to discretely nudge up next to each guest and sort it out that way.  Not make a spectacle of a table full of 12 people while other guests are dining as well.  THE NERVE!!!  Now, I’m usually very passive and never complain about food.  I’ll eat it if its hot, cold (btw my pork chop was cold), whatever, but I had to say something.  I said very calmly,” that was very embarrassing for everyone” to which Armando responded with tossing me out on my ear…and just like that I GOT MY CANDELA BADGE OF HONOR!!! I have now been officially thrown out by Armando the eccentric chef at Candela Restaurant.  The end…

Mmmm m m m mmmmm...

I have a new late night toddy...it used to be a little nip of amaretto. But now it's butterscotch schnapps with a dash of spice yum I mean rum! Deeeeelish! New great big blog coming tomorrow if I remember to post it! Just thought I'd share what I'm indulging in right now!!