Im a smoker...

I'm a smoker, I love to smoke.  I dont care that my clothes smell, I dont care that my hair smells, and I NEVER care how my breath smells while I'm smoking.  When I light up, I feel good.  It relaxes me.  I'm like, damn I look cool holding this match.  If it offends people I'm like, pfft whatever, more smokey goodness for me and my fellow hickory lovin' pork junky pals.  Thats right I like to smoke meat, what did you think I was talking about?  I often wolf whistle to my meat while I'm seasoning it.  Dude I'll even season it, wolf whistle...and throw my meat into the fridge, open up the door in about two hours and then WOLF WHISTLE again!!  If I could slap its ass I would.  I WOULD!  My smoker of choice right now is a simple brinkman charcoal smoker.  Fill the bottom with A LOT of coals, light 'er up and fill the upper pan with water.  Let the fire go out and throw some wood chips that have been soaked in water.  The trick is to get the smoker rippin hot so that it maintains heat for the long run.  Every so often you have to stir the coals around to make sure they are staying hot.  You also want to find something to do in the meantime so that you refrain from peaking.  But don't wander to far...after all, something is nearly on fire in your backyard with your dinner in it.  Here is a list of activities that you may find entertaining while your smoker is making love to your variety of meats. 
5.  knit a tiny saddle for your cat to wear while you take pictures of how cute it looks
4.  melt some cheese and then drink it
3.  fill a kiddie pool with jello and wrestle yourself
2.  learn to count to ten in chinese (afterall you will probably have to someday anyway since they are really in charge)
1.  record yourself trying to make all of the sounds to the Bobby McFerrin song "Dont Worry, Be Happy"

So in this picture are some country pork ribs, that I dry rubbed over night.  I smoked them with hickory chips over charcoal for 5 hours.  It was delish.  We enjoyed it dining al fresco in the backyard under the mango tree :) Here is a recipe for a simple brine:
2 quarts water
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup salt
2 bay leaves
1 yellow onion, diced
2 tablespoons black pepper
combine all ingredients and bring to a boil.  stir and  bring to room temperature.  refridgerate and add your desired raw meat product.  do not add meat to unchilled liquid!  chill in fridge over night.

Good Lawd...

Good lawd it was a delicious weekend!  Went to the SoBe food and wine festival.  It was outstanding.  Very well executed.   The chefs and wine companies pulled out ALL the stops.  You would think that they would give out menial starch based hors d’ouevres but NO!!  There were things like beef carpaccio and roasted beet pure layered with goat cheese and roasted yellow beet cubes, and on top of THAT was delicious little arugula microgreensl…Whaaaaaaat?!  Bam!  In the mouth with a tiny fork.  Oh yeah shrimp ceviche with daikon radish laden with and exquisitely made vinaigrette…slamma jamma in my mouth mmm  mmmmm!!  Mousses and Meesses galore.  Very well done, bravo SOBE!! 

And then the next day, we went out to our favorite little tapas restaurant, you know, the one with the eccentric chef?  Yep that’s the one.  There were twelve of us for a very special birthday.  We started with of course, the mushroom truffle bruschetta, my sister had the homemade gnocchi, my brother in law and mom had the chicken Milanese,  Cindy had the chorizo carpaccio, and I had the pork chop…again.  I couldn’t resist it was so good the first time.  So as we are being ignored by our waitress (its customary at this joint)  and I’m apologizing to every one “Im sorry guys but wait till you have the food! It’s worth the abuse!” a began to become more and more terrified at the thought of “whats gonna happen when we ask for separate checks?”  OMG OMG OMG…well we’ll just ask our waitress ahead of time!  And we did…and then we had cake and the single most awkward thing in the world started happening.  Our very eccentric chef pulled out six blank checks and very snidely went one by one through the table and asked everyone what they had to eat and what should go on what check.  It was his way of rubbing our noses in our poop like we were puppies…”look at your filth!!”  ECH!  I worked in the front of the house as a server and bartender  for 10 years before I became a chef.  The appropriate way to execute getting the checks to the guests would be to discretely nudge up next to each guest and sort it out that way.  Not make a spectacle of a table full of 12 people while other guests are dining as well.  THE NERVE!!!  Now, I’m usually very passive and never complain about food.  I’ll eat it if its hot, cold (btw my pork chop was cold), whatever, but I had to say something.  I said very calmly,” that was very embarrassing for everyone” to which Armando responded with tossing me out on my ear…and just like that I GOT MY CANDELA BADGE OF HONOR!!! I have now been officially thrown out by Armando the eccentric chef at Candela Restaurant.  The end…

Mmmm m m m mmmmm...

I have a new late night toddy...it used to be a little nip of amaretto. But now it's butterscotch schnapps with a dash of spice yum I mean rum! Deeeeelish! New great big blog coming tomorrow if I remember to post it! Just thought I'd share what I'm indulging in right now!!